Understanding Internal Family Systems (IFS)- A Compassionate Approach to Healing
- Taylor Ashley
- 4 days ago
- 2 min read
“Our parts can sometimes be disruptive or harmful, but once they're unburdened, they return to their essential goodness. When we learn to LOVE ALL OUR PARTS, we can learn to love all people — and that will contribute to healing the world...” – Richard Scwartz
What is Internal Family Systems (IFS)?
Internal Family Systems was developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980s and is based on the idea that everyone contains an internal “family of parts”- distinct emotional states, beliefs and strategies- and at the core of us is the “Self”- a calm, compassionate leader.
IFS believes that internal distress is a natural expression of how we adapt to life experiences. Our parts serve to help us survive, cope, and stay safe- even when these strategies may not be helping us in our daily lives. IFS encourages us to explore these parts with curiosity and compassion, rather than judgment or criticism.
The Three Parts
Exiles: These parts often hold feelings of pain, including abandonment, betrayal, fear and shame, especially from early childhood experiences or trauma. Exiles carry deep emotional wounds that we may try to suppress in order to function.
Managers: These parts often love control and may present in ways including perfectionism, people pleasing, self-criticism, or caretaking. Managers strive to ensure that we don’t feel the deep emotional wounds that the exiled parts carry.
Firefighters: These parts often react when painful emotions come up. The aim is to “put out the emotional fire” fast quickly as possible- usually, these coping mechanisms include disordered eating, substance use, overspending, or isolation.
From an IFS perspective, there “are no bad parts.” Each part plays an important role in attempting to protect us and keep us safe based on our own personal experiences.
What is Self?
IFS believes that beyond these three protective parts in the “Self”- a core essence of our truest being. Self is characterized by the 8 Cs, including:
Compassion
Calmness
Curiosity
Clarity
Confidence
Courage
Connection
Creativity
How can IFS be Helpful in Therapy?
IFS prioritizes the therapeutic relationship and the client’s experiences in a safe and compassionate space. Rather than “getting rid” of unhelpful parts, IFS works on:
Building awareness and insight into different parts and how they interact
Listening to each part’s story
Creating safety for exiled parts to feel heard, validated and seen
Supporting managers and firefighters so that they no longer have to work so hard
Empowerment to access Self with compassion and curiosity
Research has suggested that IFS can be helpful in treating a wide range of client concerns, including trauma, anxiety, depression, shame, overwhelm and substance use. Clients may find IFS helpful because it is non-pathologizing ("no bad parts”), fosters greater self-compassion, promotes empowerment and self-trust, and supports deep emotional healing that goes beyond symptoms.
Book Recommendation:
No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model
Written By: Stephanie Kurach RP (Qualifying)
To Book with Stephanie and find out more about her approach, email:
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